I just knew

I didn't really have any pregnancy symptoms. Not the usual, obvious ones, like morning sickness or food aversions or fainting (which seems to happen a lot in tv shows and movies). And my pants still fit. But, there were days when I cried for what seemed to be no reason and a few times I did get light headed enough to beg my husband to get me water. But I thought my time of the month was about to begin or I was just dehydrated. It never hit me that maybe the reason that I broke down on the phone with my older sister was not just because I really, really did not want her to lose her baby (which I really, really didn't), but also because I was carrying a little one of my own. It never hit me that maybe the reason that my period didn't start was not just because I couldn't really remember when I last had it and maybe I was a week off in my head, but also because, well, I wouldn't be getting my period that month. I had no idea. I was going through every reason in my head for what was happening to me except the possibility of me being pregnant. At least in the beginning. But a few days past and then I started to let that possibility enter my mind. And then I asked my husband to get a pregnancy test. That once I ruled out that possibility, I could go to the doctor to see if something was wrong with me. But I knew. I knew once I took the test that it would be positive and then this possibility would become reality. I just knew. But I let my husband think that I thought there was a chance for the test to be negative.  So I peed on the stick. But I let my husband check it two minutes later because, really, I already knew it would be positive so why did I need to see it. And now it was reality.